I Vowed I Wouldn't
by WingedAngel1364
Summary: When Goku gets hurt Sanzo realizes he's coming close to breaking the vow he made when his master died, "I vow to never care for someone so much I couldn't stand to lose them". Sanzo begins to distance himself from his young charge. But what will happen when Kougaiji appears and Goku tries to prove he's not a burden? Rated T for language.
1. Chapter 1

AN: hello! So I love Saiyuki! This is something cute I came up with it focuses on Sanzo and Goku's relationship which is basically just Sanzo finally accepting his cares about someone. Not necessarily in a romantic way. Anyway, this is all fluffy cute stuff. Hope you enjoy.

~disclaimer~  
***I DONT ONW SAIYUKI OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS***

Chapter 1

Goku's stomach growled loud enough for everyone in the jeep to hear. Hakkai chuckled. "Don't worry Goku, we aren't too far from the next town."

"Hurry up then! I'm starving!" Goku complained for the hundredth time. He was sitting on the side of the jeep with his feet on his seat. He liked to ride like this so he could feel the wind better.

"Yeah, yeah, the monkey's hungry. Big surprise," Gojyo rolled his eyes. He was in no mood to fight with the young monkey demon due to his hangover. Hakkai told him to stop after his 13th drink but Gojyo was too far gone already to stop.

Goku glared at the red haired man. "Shut it, Water Sprite."

"Both of you shut it!" Sanzo snapped. "I'm too tired to deal with your bickering!" He turned and gave Goku a stern look. "How many times do I have to tell you not to sit like that? If we hit a large enough bump or something your going to go flying right out of the jeep."

Goku rolled his eyes. "After everything we've been through I think I'll be fine. Don't worry about me."

"I'm not worried, do what you want." Sanzo faces back to the front.

"It's nice to see you worried about Goku, Sanzo," Hakkai smiled.

"I will shoot you," Sanzo threatened. His brow furrowing in anger.

Hakkai chuckled again and continued to drive. He could now see the town off in the distance. Hakkai was just about to tell them to look when a group of demons suddenly appeared in the road.

"Hold on everyone!" Hakkai yelled as he hit the break and yanked the steering wheel to the left.

Sanzo gripped his door handle just as he saw a flash of brown hair fly passed him as Goku flew out of the jeep slamming into the ground. They heard Goku cry out as his head made contact with a rock in the road before his body went limp.

"Goku!" Sanzo was already out of the jeep before it had come to a complete stop. He rushed to Goku's side. "Hey, wake up you damn monkey! This is no time for a nap damn it!"

One of the demons approached Sanzo and Goku. "Give us the scripture now Sanzo or we'll have to hurt your friends!" The demon reached out to try to take Goku.

"Bad idea," Gojyo said as he jumped out of the jeep just as Sanzo shot the demon. "Don't you know not to approach a baby monkey when it's with their mother?" A bullet whizzed passed Gojyo's ear making him jump.

Hakkai smiled. "Now Gojyo, you should have known that wasn't a good idea."

"Yeah, yeah," he rubbed the back of his head. "Let's just finish this so he can put Humpty Dumpty back together again."

"You bastards! Stop treating us like we're nothing!" Another demon, one with strange markings on his forehead, yelled as he lunged at Gojyo.

"You're right. I'm giving you guys too much credit. You're less than nothing." With a simple flick of his wrist the crescent moon shaped blade of his Shakujo cut the demon in half.

Hakkai shoot out a burst of his chii taking out the rest of the demons before rushing over to Sanzo who still held the unconscious boy in his arms. He could see the blood flowing down the side of Goku's face making his hair stick to his forehead. Hakkai put his hand out and used his chii to examine and heal his wound.

After a moment he pulled back with a relived sigh. "It doesn't seem the wound was as serious as it looks. Just a large gash and a bump. I managed to close up the gash but he'll still need to rest."

Sanzo stood up carrying Goku to the Jeep and tossing him in the backseat not to gently.

"The hell's your problem man?" Gojou grabbed Sanzo by the front of his robes. "I'm not a fan of the little brat either but was that really necessary? I mean he is hurt."

"It's his own damn fault for getting hurt! He should have listened to me." Sanzo slapped Gojyo's hand off and climbing into the jeep. Gojyo was about to yell at him again but Hakkai quickly stopped him.

"Don't. He's just worried." Hakkai quickly took his place behind the wheel as Gojyo's hopped into the back behind him. The rest of the ride was strangely quiet with out their young companion to complain about his hunger and getting into fights with Gojyo about him taking up too much room or drinking too much. They all found the quietness strange and out of place.

They arrived in the town and went to the inn and were lucky enough to get three separate rooms for themselves. Hakkai and Gojyo had assumed Sanzo would stay with Goku for the night to keep an eye on him. So they were both surprised when Sanzo told Hakkai to watch Goku as he left and went to one of their other rooms.

"What's his problem. I know he's not super in touch with his feelings or anything but he usually hovers over this kid when something happens to him," Gojyo asked.

Hakkai nodded in agreement. "He's got something on his mind that much is certain but I'm not sure what it is." He knew Sanzo had some nasty scars in his past and wondered if that had something to do with his sudden coldness toward Goku.

****

Sanzo sat down on his bed. He pulled out a cigaret and tried to light it before he remembered his lighter was out of fuel.

"Shit!" He threw his lighter against the opposite wall before falling onto his back. There was a soft knock on his door. "What?" He asked irritated.

"Can I come in?" Hakkai's head popped in.

"Would you go away if I said no?" Sanzo asked as he placed his right arm over his eyes.

"No." Hakkai stepped inside and closed the door. "Is there something wrong with you?"

"What are you talking about? I'm fine."

Hakkai sighed. "This conversation will go much smoother for both of us if you don't talk to me like I'm stupid. You've been acting strange. I mean you were obviously concerned about Goku earlier. You jumped out of the jeep before I had it completely stopped and you were pale as well. So why are you acting like you don't care now?"

Sanzo paused to think over how he wanted to answer. "You... Know about my past don't you? I mean you've made comments that have lead me to believe you do anyway."

Hakkai nodded. "I never said anything directly since I didn't think you'd approve of my snooping."

"I don't approve, but that does make this easier to explain." Sanzo paused once again thinking about how he wanted to voice this. He knew there was no point in lying to Hakkai at this point. The nosy bastard won't let it drop till he's satisfied.

"After my master was killed I felt such an incredible sense of loss it was almost unbearable. He had been the only person to actually treat me like a normal person and not some wash up river rat. I wanted to protect him." He paused for a moment as he sat up pulling one knee up to his chest resting his chin on it. "So when I lost that I vowed I would never again care for someone so deeply I couldn't stand it if they were taken from me. When Goku's head hit that rock it felt like my heart had stopped. I was terrified of losing someone for the first time since my master was killed."

"So you're going to put distance between you and Goku now, is that it?" Hakkai asked, but received only silence. "That's not going to work Sanzo. You can't just tear someone out of your life like that; especially when you've known him for as long as you have. Plus it's not like Goku will just stop caring for you that easily."

Sanzo glared up at Hakkai. "I'll do what I want. Also I expect this to stay between us unless you want a bullet in that Smartass face of yours."

Hakkai put his hands up in defeat as he turned to leave. "Fine, be that way, but don't complain when this does a 180 on you and hurts you more." He stepped out into the hallway to be meet by Gojyo.

"What'd he say?"

"Oh, he's just feeling a little under the weather is all," Hakkai lied as he walked back into Goku's room followed by Gojyo.

****

Goku was back in his cage in the mountain. He pulled against the chains around his wrists, ankles, and neck. Sanzo stood just outside of the bars. Just out of reach.

"Sanzo! Don't leave me here! I'm sorry for whatever I did! Please! Sanzo!" He pleaded for the elder blond to stop and brush it all off as a joke, but he didn't. Sanzo just continued to walk away and as he faded so did the sun.

Goku was surrounded by absolute darkness and absolute quiet. All he could hear was his own breathing and his own heartbeat. He hated it. He yanked at the chains again and again but they never budged.

He felt the tears run down his face as he screamed for his savior, his sun, to come back. "Please, Sanzo!"


	2. Chapter 2

AN: So I'm trying really hard to stick true to their characters. I think I'm doing a decent job. I know that Sanzo is going to probably have a little OOC in my fic every now and then. Let me know if you see any major problems with it. ^_^

Chapter 2

Hakkai and Gojyo had just finished their first game of cards and round of sake when Goku suddenly sat up in his bed.

"Sanzo!"

Gojyo fell out of his chair in surprise. "What the hell you little brat?!"

Goku looked around confused and a bit dazed. "What's going on? Where are we?"

"We're at an Inn. You cracked your head pretty badly on a rock earlier." Hakkai explained as he handed the young demon a glass of water.

"Thanks." He drank it before looking around and noticing Sanzo was missing. "Where's Sanzo?"

"He's asleep in the other room already. The blond bastard's not feeling well apparently." Gojyo said as he got up from the floor. "Though I'm thinking he's just being a lazy ass."

"Don't talk about Sanzo like that, you red cockroach!" Goku shot back with a glare.

"Why you little-"

"Hakkai, I'm hungry." Goku interrupted Gojyo.

"Hey! I was talking over he-"

"Yes, of course. I'll go see if the innkeeper has any food," Hakkai said. He turned and walked out of the room.

"Damn it all! Whatever, ignore me all you like you jackasses!" Gojyo plopped down in his chair. Goku laughed at the elder demon.

It didn't take long for Hakkai to return with meat buns. Goku smiled excitedly as he began to devour them.

"How can you eat so much and always be hungry?" Gojyo asked as he watch Goku eat his 23 meat bun.

"I'm not always hungry," Goku corrected.

"You say your hungry almost every hour!" Gojyo was starting to wonder if this kid was going to turn into some fat old guy when he grew up.

Goku paused half way through his last meat bun. "Well, it's just that," he paused and put the meat bun down which surprised both Gojyo and Hakkai. "When I was in that cage, I didn't get food. For 500 years I never got to eat a signal morsel of food. So I want to eat as much as I can. You never know when you might not get to eat again is, ya know?" Goku smiled.

Gojyo sighed. "Well, I need some more cigarettes. Maybe I'll pick up a few more meat buns for ya while I'm out." He waved as he walked out the door.

Hakkai smiled and thought to himself, 'We bought cigarettes just this afternoon. If I didn't know you better I'd say your growing soft my dear friend.'

When Gojyo returned he, Goku, and Hakkai all sat down and played cards and ate. After a few hours they were all passed out in the same room, forgetting about the empty third room they had rented.

****

Sanzo woke up at sun rise and quickly got dressed before heading next door to get Hakkai to start waking Goku up so they could get going. He opened the door to his companions' room surprised to see Goku passed out on the bed with his head hanging off the edge, Gojyo on the floor in a white tank top and boxers, and Hakkai sleeping in a chair. The room was a complete mess with beer cans, food wrappers, and cigarette buds everywhere.

Sanzo's jaw tenses as he felt the vein in his forehead begin to throb. He pulled out his gun firing several rounds making Goku jump and fall into Gojyo. The two looked around panicked but quickly grew angry as they realized what had happened.

"The hell man," Gojyo yelled. "That is not how you wake up your friends."

"You're right, but you're not my friends so suck it up and start getting ready to leave." Sanzo turned and returned to his own room.

"The hell's his problem?" Gojyo asked as he shoved Goku, who had already started to fall back asleep, off of his lap.

"He's probably just not feeling 100% yet is all," Hakkai offered an explanation.

Goku snapped wake. "Oh, that's right. I should go see if he's feeling better." The young brunette jumped to his feet and followed after Sanzo before Hakkai could stop him.

"Oh no," the green eyed man watched as the door closed behind Goku. "This isn't going to end well."

Gojyo looked over as he pulled his pants on. "What?"

Hakkai smiled, but Gojyo knew it was only a cover. It has taken time but eventually he had learned the difference between his companion's real smiles and those he worn to hide his emotions.

"Nice try, but you're obviously concerned about something. Now spill."

"It's just th-"

Hakkai was cut off by the sound of a slamming door coming from next door followed by the sound of running feet. Hakkai and Gojyo both quickly stepped out into the hall just in time to see Goku's figure leave the Inn.

"What the hell was that about?" Gojyo asked.

"I don't know, but I do know who to ask." Hakkai opened the door to Sanzo's room to find the man sitting on the windowsill with a cigaret between his lips. The blond turned his cold eyes toward the two men entering his room.

"What?"

"Care to explain what happened?" Hakkai asked.

"Nothing." Sanzo turned his gaze back to the window.

"That's bullshit!" Gojyo shot back. "He ran out of here like his pants were on fire or something. What did you say to him?"


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Sorry, I know this chapter is really short but it was the only way to end it without it being ridiculously long. I'm really liking this story so far. I hope you guys are too.

Also a shout out to .311295 for being the first to review my story! I love to hear back from you guys so keep it up! Good or bad, throw your comments at me ^_^

Chapter 3

Goku knocked on Sanzo's door, but only got silence was returned. He sighed and slowly opened the door. "Sanzo? How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. Get out." Sanzo snapped.

Goku was used to Sanzo's rude remarks, but his tone seemed different. Colder.

"I'm just worried about you," Goku stepped inside. "Hakkai said you weren't feeling well. You even went to bed early."

"What I do is of no importance to you. You're just some annoyance I picked up on a whim." Sanzo shot back as he sat on the windowsill lighting a cigaret.

Goku felt like a rock had just dropped in his stomach. He had always had doubts and fears that this was the case but hearing it spoken was like having a knife wedged in his back.

"Screw you, you Buddha-wanna-be. If you didn't want me around you should have just left me in that cave!" Goku turned and ran out of the room slamming the door behind him. He just wanted to get away from Sanzo for a while. Needed some fresh air. He darted out of the Inn and into the cool breeze outside.

****

"Then he ran out slamming the door like a brat," Sanzo said as he finished off his cigaret. He stood up just as Gojyo grabbed the monk by the front of his robes once again.

"You son of a bitch!" Gojyo glared at Sanzo who only glared back. "That kid worships the ground you walk on! Why? I don't fucking know, but he does. For whatever reason that brain dead monkey holds your self-righteous life above all else. Why the hell would you tell him that?"

"You have two seconds to release me before I put a bullet up your ass." The blond threatened.

Gojyo grit his teeth but let the man go. "You're some piece of work you know that." The red haired demon quickly left, afraid he'd lose his temper if he stayed.

Hakkai watched Sanzo with a disproving look. "That was cruel Sanzo."

"Like I care. Go hunt down the damn monkey so we can go." Sanzo ordered as he grabbed his bag, which mostly likely hadn't even gotten unpacked.

Hakkai sighed but left to do as he was told. Knowing Goku he'd be far enough away that it'd take Sanzo a while to find him but close enough to hear if anything was amiss. Probably somewhere high.

The green eyed demon stepped outside and looked around. There were several trees near by and knew he'd find the young boy resting on a branch in one of them. He began to walk around glancing up the trees. After searching for about 15 minutes he finally found Goku sitting in a tree one leg pulled tightly to his chest with his face buried in his arms; the other hanging loosely off the branch.

"Goku." Hakkai called gently. The boy did not respond to the man. "Goku?" He paused and after a moment Goku finally spoke.

"If Sanzo doesn't want me... what's left for me?" He had finally raised his face and Hakkai could tell he had been fighting back tears this whole time. "If the guy who saved me thinks of me as a burden and I don't belong with him does that mean I don't belong anywhere but in that cave?"

Hakkai felt his chest tighten at the sound of heartbreak in Goku's voice. The young boy was fighting back his years with everything he had. "Of course you belong with Sanzo. He's just got a lot on his mind right now."

Goku took a deep breath trying to calm his nerves. "Like what?"

"Well, there's the mission, being hunted by demons, you getting hurt, and I'm sure that's just the tip of the iceberg." Hakkai smiled. "I'm sure he didn't mean what he said."

Goku looked doubtful and was about to voice his objections, but was interrupted as Gojyo walked up. "There you are you stupid chip! I just wasted my morning looking for you dumbass. You cause nothing but trouble you no that."

Hakkai mentally slapped himself. This is not what Goku needs to be hearing right now. He quickly took notice of the hurt that very briefly appeared on Goku's face before he covered it with his playful anger.

"Shut up you damn coach roach!" Goku jumped down kicking Gojyo's leg.

"You little.." His comment was lost as they began to wrestle with each other in their usual manner. Everything seemed to be at least heading in the direction of normal.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Hi, so this chapter is going to have some fighting and some blood so beware : )

Chapter 4

Their group had left the village a few hours ago. Goku was in an odd state of silence as he stared at the passing scenery. Sanzo simply stared straight ahead. Hakkai and Gojyo decided to just leave it be, afraid that pushing on the subject would only make it worse.

The sky was clear and the breeze gentle and soothing. Hakkai remembered it was a day much like this when they had pulled over to rest after driving through the night when Goku had fallen asleep under a tree. He and Gojyo both thought Sanzo was going to take out his paper fan on the unexpecting boy, but instead he actually cracked a smile smile before quickly resuming his emotionless expression. He sat down next to the napping boy taking a nap of his own.

That day had been an eye opener for both Hakkai and Gojyo. It was obvious Sanzo cared deeply for the young boy. Hakkai knew why it was hard for him to except the fact but his current actions were ridiculous.

Sanzo gritted his teeth as Goku sighed for the twentieth time. "Stop sighing damn it! It's annoying."

Goku winced a little at Sanzo's cold tone and his emphasis on annoying. He quickly stopped and started to tap his finger on his knee. He vowed he would try his best to not annoy Sanzo as much anymore. If it means he can stay with his sun, he'll do anything.

Gojyo threw his hands in the air. "Ok seriously, someone talk. This is driving me crazy."

"The quiet is strange, that's for sure," Hakkai agreed his smile taking its place on his face.

"Personally, I'm finding the peace and quiet refreshing," Sanzo said.

Goku's eyes suddenly widened as he stood up in his seat. He sniffed the air nervously.

"Goku? What's wrong?" Hakkai asked. He knew the young demon's senses were much more advanced than their own, his sense of smell especially. Goku's nose could rival that of a bloodhound.

"Stop the jeep!" Goku called. "Kougaiji's up ahead!"

Hakkai slammed on the breaks. Once the jeep skidded to a halt they all jumped out to face Kougaiji and his men.

"Long time no see Sanzo," Kougaiji smirked as he stepped in front of his men. He had a group of about 50 or so demons. "You know the drill. Hand over the scripture."

"Ha!" Goku laughed. "As if he'd listen to anything you say!"

Kougaiji narrowed his eyes on Goku. "I think you and I have a score to settle." The two suddenly darted at each other is a furry of punches and kicks.

Hakkai and the others moved to help their younger companion, but found their path quickly blocked by the other demons.

"Damn it all!" Sanzo pulled out his banishing gun quickly taking out three of the demons. He look to his right to see Hakkai fighting of several of the other demons. To his left Gojyo was in a similar situation.

"Shit, these things are endless!" Sanzo cursed as he shot another three demons and started to quickly reload his gun.

As he reloaded he didn't notice the demon coming at him from the side. Sanzo tried to side step it but he wasn't fast enough and the demon grazed his side with its claws making the man choke back a cry. He quickly finished loading and shot the demon.

The priest stumbled back holding his side. It wasn't life threatening, but it hurt like hell. He looked around for Goku but couldn't see the little brat anywhere. "Damn it, Goku."

A sudden scream cause everyone to pause and turn toward the source. Next to a large boulder on the side of the road stood Kougaiji holding Goku's limp body up by the hair. His clothes were all torn and his body was covered in cuts and bruises, but what had made him scream was most like his bloody and broken arm. The bone could be seen coming out of his skin.

****

Goku swung at Kougaiji but couldn't seem to land any hits. Kougaiji only smirked and continued to easily dodge Goku's oncoming attacks.

"What's the problem Goku? You seem distracted by something."

Goku narrowed his eyes and managed to land a right hook sending Kougaiji flying back a few feet. "I don't know what you're talking about. It seems I'm doing just fine."

Goku used the temporary break in fighting to try and locate Sanzo. He looked around trying to see the blond but had no such luck. He turned to face Kougaiji again but found he was missing.

"Shit!" Goku looked around but couldn't find his opponent.

"Over here Goku." Kougaiji called from behind him. Just as Goku turned he slammed his knee into the young boy's gut making him fall to his knees.

"You are distracted. What? Worried about your monk?" Kougaiji asked in a teasing tone. "Keep this up and you'll just cause them trouble."

Goku tensed. He could feel his anger growing. What did this guy know?

Goku lunged at Kougaiji, his anger taking over. He swung over and over again continuing to miss. "Fight back already!"

Kougaiji smiled. "Alright." He suddenly disappeared before reappearing in front of Goku punching him hard in the face.

The young boy flew back several feet before stopping but Kougaiji was instantly on him continuing his assault. Goku barely had time to think between the punches. He could taste blood in his mouth.

Goku was started to faded in and out of consciousness. When he felt Kougaiji's boot slammed into his gut he was about to black out but was quickly brought back by a sickening cracking sound followed by an intense pain in his right arm.

He screamed at the intense pain. It shot through his arm and up to his shoulder. He was about to fall to the ground but was stopped when Kougaiji grabbed his hair keeping him up.

Goku didn't have the strength to fight back and the pain in his arm kept him from moving around too much. He struggled to keep his eyes open as the fighting all seemed to come to a stop. He could see his companions standing in front of them now.

****

"Goku!" Hakkai and Gojyo both called together, moving to assist their friend.

"Stop!" Kougaiji commanded as he gave Goku's hair a tug making the boy wince. "Or else."

They stopped their glares both focused on the enemy. Sanzo slowly joined his friends his eyes never leaving Goku. His eyes were just barely open. Sanzo lifted his gun pointing it at Kougaiji.

"Let. Him. Go." Each word seemed to come with more venom then the last.

Kougaiji put his razor sharp claws to Goku's neck. "I don't think I will." He pressed his claws into Goku's skin drawing a few drops of blood. "Better be careful, my claws have been dipped in a deadly poison Sanzo."

The blond tensed and thought for a moment before slowly lowering his gun. "You want the scripture? Fine! Take the damn thing!" Sanzo moved forward and held out the scripture.

Kougaiji smirked. "That was easier said then done. How does it feel to be the weak link in the group Goku?"

Goku glared and tried to to pull free but the pain in his body was just too much. He winced as Kougaiji dragged him over to meet with Sanzo. They were just about to reach him when Kougaiji leaned down and whispered into Goku's ear.

"Take a good look at your precious priest because it'll be the last time you see him as anything other than a corpse."

Goku felt his blood run cold. He planned to kill Sanzo!

Kougaiji and Goku now stood before Sanzo. Sanzo held out the scripture to his friend's captor.

'No!' Goku thought to himself. 'I don't want to be the shackle to Sanzo! I don't want to be a burden!"

Kougaiji lifted his hand and Hakkai instantly knew what was about to happen. "Sanzo!"

Sanzo realized to late he saw the claws coming for him and closed his eyes prepared to feel the stabbing of the claws. But instead felt someone fall, bumping into his body. When he opened his eyes he saw Goku standing between him and Kougaiji his arms outstretched protectively

Kougaiji's claws were embedded in Goku's abdomen. Goku coughed, blood seeping out of his mouth and down his chin.

"L-Looks like y-you've lost again... Kougaiji..." Goku fell back into Sanzo who quickly wrapped his arms around the wounded boy. Blood soaking the front of his body now.

Hakkai and Gojyo both used the moment to attack Kougaiji who quickly retreated. He was already weakened from his fight with Goku and he was in no state to fight these two.

Jumping back Kougaiji whistled, summoning his flying dragon. He quickly mounted the creature before looking back.

"I may not have been able to get the scripture today, but I have claimed the life of one of your friends! Until next time, Sanzo." The dragon quickly took off flying his master to safety.

Hakkai and Gojyo quickly turned to their friends. Sanzo sat in a daze holding Goku who seemed to be barely holding onto consciousness.

Goku managed a smile at Sanzo. "L-Looks like I won't b-be an annoyance much longer..." Goku winced as he tried to move his broken arm. He could feel the poison working its way through his body. It made his body burn and ache.

"Don't say that..." Sanzo said just barely audible. "Monkeys can't die without permission."

Goku opened his mouth to say something when he suddenly started coughing violently blood splattering on the ground next to them.

"Goku!" Sanzo tightened his grip on the boy.

"Sanzo," Hakkai placed a hand on his friend's shoulder, "we need to move him somewhere safe so I can tend to his wounds."

Sanzo nodded. They all knew they weren't close enough to any town and opted for finding a small cave a little ways off the path. They laid Goku down making up a bed out clothing.

"Put this in Goku's mouth," Hakkai said as he handed Sanzo a rag. Sanzo nodded knowing what Hakkai had to do before they could do anything else.

He placed the rag in Goku's mouth. It was to prevent him from biting his tongue when Hakkai realigned his broken arm so it would heal properly. Hakkai grabbed the broken arm.

"Ok, one, two, three!" He snapped the bone into place. Goku's scream was muffled by the rag. When he calmed down Sanzo removed the rag. Goku's forehead was covered in sweat.

Hakkai quickly began to heal some of his other wounds using his chii. He was unable to cure the poison inside the young boy's body. He had never felt more useless.


	5. Chapter 5

AN: Well, here's the last chapter. It's got some really cute moments but a bit of Sanzo OOC (Im sorry) anyway, let me know what you think.

Chapter 5

Sanzo hovered over the sleeping Goku. He was constantly whipping away sweat and trying to soothe Goku's pain. He was pale and his breathes were becoming short and shallow.

"Damn it!" Gojyo slammed his fist against the cave wall. "I'll kill that son of a bitch the next time I see him!"

"Gojyo, please, Goku is trying to rest," Hakkai motioned for Gojyo to be quiet.

"Sorry," Gojyo looked down apologetically.

Hakkai smiled. "Sanzo," he drew the monk's attention from the weak Goku. "Gojyo and I are going to see if we can find something to eat and I'll look around to see if I can find any herb to help Goku."

Sanzo nodded. "Alright."

Hakkai and Gojyo quickly left leaving Sanzo alone with Goku. The boy was hot to the touch and his body was now shaking. His hair was soaking wet with sweat. The young boy managed to open his eyes.

"S-Sanzo?" His voice was weak and raspy, but hearing it at all made Sanzo's chest flutter since he was starting to fear he's never hear it again.

"Yeah?" Sanzo tried to sound indifferent like he didn't care.

"I... I'm sorry..."

Sanzo stared at the young demon in confusion. What was he apologizing for? He's the one who saved him.

"I'm sorry... So sorry... I... I didn't want to cause trouble for you..." Goku's face twisted in pain. He waited a moment before continuing. "I don't want... To slow you down. Just go... Please... I don't want to be your shackles... The mission is more important..."

Sanzo stared at Goku in shock. What was he saying? Sanzo knew he was trying to put distance between them but he didn't want the boy gone for good. He realized then that Hakkai was right. It was much too late to pull back now. Losing Goku was already an unbearable thought.

"As if you could hold me back." Sanzo responded still trying to keep himself calm and collected.

"I'm sorry... I'm such an annoyance..." Goku's body suddenly began to shake violently in a seizure like fashion. Sanzo quickly tried to hold the boy's body down so he wouldn't make his arm worse or give himself any new injuries.

Sanzo tightened his grip and sat there holding the boy. 'He's still upset about what I said?' He thought to himself feeling a sharpe pang of guilt in his chest. 'Hakkai was right, not like that's a new development.'

****

After a while Hakkai and Gojyo returned to the cave. Gojyo was ranting about something while Hakkai just smiled and nodded but his smile quickly faded when he saw Goku shaking and Sanzo trying to hold him down.

"Goku!" Hakkai quickly put his findings down and rushed to Goku's side. He put a hand on the boy's forehead and quickly pulled back. "His fever has skyrocketed. It's a good thing he's a demon, no human would survive this fever. We need to work on getting it down as soon as possible."

He quickly turned to the plants he had picked and rummaged through them. "Gojyo! Go find some water immediately!"

"Got it!" Gojyo called as he turned and ran out of the cave. Hakkai continued sorting through the plants.

"Hakkai?" He heard Sanzo call him and couldn't help but notice the pain in his voice.

"What?" He asked still looking.

"Is... Is he going to die?" Sanzo's question was quiet but filled with worry.

"I'm not sure." One look at Sanzo's worried expression and Hakkai knew he had given the monk the wrong answer. Hakkai stood up as he found what he was looking for. He hung the plant near the fire to dry it out.

"It's my fault..." Sanzo said not taking his eye off of Goku. "He was trying to prove to me he's not an annoyance. Even said we should leave him."

Hakkai sighed. "Sanzo, you were ready to end it with Goku to protect yourself and Goku probably would have been ok with that if its what you wanted. Goku would do anything to please you even if it hurt him. All he wants is for you to need him the way he needs you. You are his savior and you won't be able to sever that bond so easily."

Sanzo tensed. He knew what Hakkai was saying was true but that didn't make it easier to get over. His master's death had left his heart jaded.

Gojyo returned with the water and Hakkai quickly started to boil the water over the fire. Once the plant was dry he used a rock to crush the plant's leaves into a fine powder then added it to the water.

"Sit him up," Hakkai ordered as he brought the homemade remedy over. Sanzo pulled Goku up into his lap. Hakkai poured some of the liquid into Goku's mouth but he coughed it out.

"Goku, you need to drink it." He tried it again but once again Goku couldn't drink it.

"Give it here." Sanzo said as he placed the sick boy back down. Hakkai handed it to him. Sanzo took a mouth full of the medicine and slowly bent down putting his mouth to Goku's forcing to the liquid into the boy's mouth and making him swallow it. The priest sat up wiping away some of the medicine from his mouth.

"Holy shit..." Gojyo, who had been standing to the side smoking a cigaret, was now staring in shock, his cigaret now on the ground. Sanzo whipped out his gun and pointed it at him.

"Say another word, I dare you."

"Oh dear," Hakkai smiled, "lets all just calm down. Goku isn't out of the woods yet."

Sanzo looked down at the boy in his charge as he put his gun away. He had stopped shaking but still looked pale. It was going to be a long night.

****

They spent the night keeping Goku hydrated and wiping away sweat. By the time morning had come his fever was gone but he was still sleeping and quite weak.

Sanzo hadn't slept much at all. He stood outside the cave smoking. His thoughts occupied by Goku. He had decided he would accept getting close to the young boy. It would be strange but it seemed like the best move. He simply couldn't imagine life without the annoyingly loud chimp by his side.

"Sanzo?" A small weak voice called out to him from behind. He quickly turned to see Goku leaning against the cave walk for support. His right arm was now in a sling to help care for his broken bone.

"Goku! You shouldn't be up yet, you idiot." Sanzo offered the young boy a hand to help balance him.

"I thought you might have left... You weren't there when I woke up..." Goku's golden eyes mirrored his fears. He had seriously thought Sanzo had left him. Though he couldn't blame the boy for thinking such a thing after how he had treated him.

Sanzo sighed and placed a hand on Goku's head. "I will never leave you. Your voice may be annoying, but I can't imagine it not being around to grate on my ears."

Goku smiled up at Sanzo tears of joy brimming his eyes. "Thank you, Sanzo." Goku knew that normal people would probably think what Sanzo had said was mean, but Goku knew that that was Sanzo attempt at being nice.

Was is great?

No.

But the fact he was trying made Goku very happy.

Sanzo gave a small smile back and ruffled the boy's hair. "No problem, you damn monkey." Sanzo smirked to myself as he thought _I know I vowed I wouldn't, but people always say rules are made to be broken._

****

Well, that's the end of my little Saiyuki fic. I hope you guys enjoyed it. And wasn't the medicine kiss scene adorable?! I thought Gojyo and Sanzo's reactions were pretty like them.

Thank you for reading! ^_^


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